Embrace Your Wildish Nature

The wild feminine is on the rise and that is good news for highly sensitive people.

The wild feminine is about embracing our wildish natures, the ones that are at home in the energy that embraces us all.

The wild feminine is the part of us that has been demoted by left brained culture and ideas that act as yokes for the aliveness of the universe.

What Is Wildish Nature?

Wildish nature is the nature we have abandoned on our quest to conquer nature.

Wild nature is. It is what we come from, it is ancient wisdom.

Wildish nature is what ancient tribes connected with as their true homes.

Wildish nature is safe, it is on our side. It is all of natural intelligence ready to help us live in our authenticity.

Wildish nature has all in it, so it can be what it needs to be:

  • quiet and still to listen 
  • curious about anything that doesn’t make sense
  • open to all forms in information that is relevant in an situation
  • strategic as called for
  • aggressive when necessary

Wildish is our wholeness interacting with and supported by the universal life force.

Wildish nature is our creativity, our innocence and resourcefulness.

It is our spirits made manifest.

It’s our intuition at work.

Wildish Nature Cannot Be Controlled

One of the things I love about wildish nature is that it cannot be controlled.

In fact the minute you try to control it you have lost it.

As Clarissa Pinkola Estes writes in her fabulous book, Women Who Run With Wolves, wildish nature is like a river. It is subject to itself and not any man made laws. It is life itself. It just is.

Wildness isn’t tame but it isn’t pseudo wildness either. It isn’t a pose we put on for others or dressing in a wild way as a defense. There is no one to please, no orders to take. There is only what is and seeing it.

Wildness is honest.

As Dr. Estes writes, wildish nature lives in the life/death/life cycle. Not the product cycle, not the marketing cycle, not the election cycle.

Wildish nature is not organized or compartmentalized. It is receptive and responsive to what is.

Your Wildish Nature Is Your Empowerment

Your wildish nature embraces all aspects of yourself in engaging with life. There is no society to belong to, so class structure, no gold stars and perfect grades, no competitions, and no beauty contests.

Your wildness uses all of your senses, not in the service of self indulgence or consumerism, but as sources of intelligence and information.

There are no targets to hit. There is no growth for growth’s sake. There are no mansions needed.

Your wildish nature embraces the unfolding of all life. It only needs to be with it rather than over or under it.

The left-brained world buts you off from what does not suit it. whatever it deems ugly. So do not grunt or growl. Too ugly!

The left-brained world wants you chasing approval and prizes, while your life’s energy becomes sicker and sicker with the striving.

The left brained world  has its order, and the full river of life is not welcome.

So leave your real Self at the door if you must and sacrifice it for the ordeals of empty achievement.

Or try letting go of it so that you can allow your whole self to breathe again free of the corsets of cultural customs and requirements.

Your Wildish Nature Is Your Friend

Our wildness is a friend. It is a friend to us and lets us be a friend to the other wild things we live with.

Your wildness is all of you including the parts you do not like generally because you have been taught that those parts are ugly: like softness and leaning and relaxing.

Wild nature is  our natural curiosity at home in the real world.

Wildish nature is our intelligence st play.

We really don’t need anything else.

Are You A Sensitive INFP ?

In our memories, some experiences from our childhood stand out in stark relief. Something about them made an impression on us. Something about them was charged with a feeling that we then carry into our lives, consciously or unconsciously.

A Sensitive INFP And Not Fitting In

For me, one such experience was in fifth grade in school in what was then called Bombay. It affected the way I thought of myself, and a fragment of that experience has remained with me through the passing years. It happened at the lovely Convent school for girls that I had just started attending after my family had moved from a different city. For around three years, from the fifth to the seventh grade, we had a needlework class. From the beginning, I hated needlework. I couldn’t figure it out. There were some people in the class who just got their assignments done by a parent. But although I hated it, I was a quite conscientious child and thought that was wrong. So, I tried to do it all by myself. More than once, as the school year progressed, the teacher was irritated with me and couldn’t understand why I didn’t get such simple things.

Then, one day, we were given an assignment to cross-stitch a printed pattern. It was on one of those cloth/canvas pieces with quite big holes, unlike the finer linen people use to make it easier for children. As usual, the teacher gave us instructions, and we began. I struggled and struggled, but for the life of me, I couldn’t understand what I was supposed to do. Mustering up my courage, I approached the teacher.

This time, she asked another girl, who seemed to be doing really well, to guide me. We sat down, and this girl started showing me what I was supposed to do. She showed me once. I didn’t get it. So, she showed me again. You are supposed to pull the thread out from this hole, and then put it into this one. I didn’t get it, yet again.

I was getting more and more flustered. Tears started crawling up. She was looking at me as if I couldn’t even get this one little thing as if I was dumb. But there were so many holes. They were shimmering and merging because of the tears I was so desperately trying to hold back. As the minutes passed and I still couldn’t understand, I started panicking.

What did she mean? It was possible to take the thread and put it back in so many different holes. There were so many holes. This was so hard. Why couldn’t I do anything right?

After what seemed like an eternity but was probably 15-20 minutes, my struggle and the class got over. I don’t remember how I completed that assignment, what I did later on. But I had learned something about myself, about my helplessness at not being able to do things right.

A Sensitive INFP Learns A Negative Self-Message

For years afterward, whenever I looked at some cross-stitched fabric painting in someone’s house, I had a nagging feeling that I was dumb, that I was stupid. How could I not figure out such simple things?

At that time, as a child, I didn’t think that my overwhelm, not being guided by the teacher and not feeling understood had contributed to my panicking, to my not learning. Like things do with sensitive children, the experience sunk a little deeper than such experiences do for others.

I also did not understand something else, something very important about me.

It’s only in the last few years, in my mid-30s, as I have learned more about being a sensitive INFP and thought back that I have had this small, but significant realization. I am a sensitive INFP, and as an INFP, I could see countless possibilities in that little piece of cloth. That was the way I saw the world. The truth is that it really is possible to take a thread, and pull it out from a not-approved, unconventional hole and make countless patterns (possibly also a mess, but still! ) on a piece of fabric. That is the very nature of creativity. It sees connections and inter-relationships between things. It is open to possibilities. There is no set way.

Especially as a child, with no preconceived notions of what a proper cross-stitch looked like, I was in a wide open field. When I started having the problem I was having, I wish someone had listened and seen that the way my brain worked was not the way their mind worked.

Looking back at that vulnerable little child, I wish someone could have told her, “You are not stupid. In fact, you are very creative. You see things in a different way.”

Sensitive INFPs Are Creative

A sensitive INFP is considered one of the most creative types of people . If you are a sensitive INFP  creative, it’s very likely that school did not offer you an ideal environment. We have all heard that schools can kill creativity, but it’s important to see what that really means. It means someone made an assessment about your being, a part of your soul that might actually be the very thing that makes you unique, makes you stand out.

Without realizing this or at least working to realize that this might have happened, we might keep on coming up against feeling again and again, that we don’t measure up. But what’s really wrong is that we haven’t looked at the faulty belief which is causing that “on the outside, looking in” feeling.  

From the HSPs I know and from what seems to be the case in online forums, it seems like a significant percentage of HSPs are either a sensitive INFP or INFJ. As two of the least common personality types, it’s no wonder that we can often end up feeling different and less than. We are often not mirrored back, often not understood. It’s up to us, then, to peel back the layers of our beliefs, unlearn the “right” way of doing things, and discover our own unique style, our own way.

Of course, this is not a problem that just a sensitive INFP faces. I think INTJs, another personality type that is less common, face similar (but different) problems of not being easily understood. Anything that makes you a minority in your social context, whether it is your personality type, your sexual orientation, or your cultural background is what makes you different and is what might make you misunderstood.

But maybe as adults, we can see that we are the only ones with the map to our own inner worlds. We can define ourselves, instead of accepting other people’s hasty assessments of who we are or making hasty judgments ourselves.

Inner Peace Improves Creativity

Inner peace improves creativity.

Based on my experience as a creative person, inner peace takes us to a different place that improves our ability to come up with fresh ideas.

Brainstorming Is Not Creativity

I have nothing against brainstorming – either by yourself or with others. But here’s the thing: brainstorming is often about what we already know.

When we get together with others we each take what we know and pool it with everyone else’s knowledge and come up with an idea or strategy. This is great up to a point and in increasingly complex institutional environments can be very useful – after all, there is too much for any one person to know.

When we brainstorm we mostly rehash what we know. Unfortunately, it is usually linear, left brained activity meant to enhance the status quo.

Brainstorming, then, can be limited in what it considers as potential ideas. It may be limited to what exists and what others will accept.

So is it creativity?

What Is Creativity?According to one online dictionary, creativity is:

  • the state or quality of being creative
  • the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.;
  •  originality, progressiveness, or imagination: the need for creativity in modern industry; creativity in the performing arts. the process by which one utilizes creative ability: Extensive reading stimulated his creativity.

What is key in the definition is the word, imagination. Imagination is a right brained activity. It claims the connections that we cannot make any other way. It offers us the unknown for our progress in solving a problem or developing something new.

Is Imagination Endangered?

Left brained mental processes have dominated human culture in the West for centuries. They are an outgrowth of the scientific method which is evidence based and relies on the material world.

Imagination is elusive. It is energy based and connected to the universal field, the source of all intelligence in the universe.

Science developed as an antidote to superstition. It does not respect the spiritual, psychic and energetic realms, although that is beginning to change a little. The discredited realms of modern life are also the home of the imagination, which we find cute and interesting in children, not adults.

The Universal Field And Creativity

The universal field is an important support of human life. It is the emptiness and silence of oneness where those wild ideas of the imagination come from. It is, therefore, a great resource for our creative endeavors.

Here’s the rub.

You cannot force it.

You have to be open to it.

Creative ideas require that we are receptive to them or they cannot make their way to us because we have closed ourselves off to them. Receptivity is a feminine quality and one that is discredited in modern culture. Therefore many are often not receptive to new ideas and it is not just an individual problem it is also a societal problem.

Those who are in touch with their imaginations, their creativity and the universal field may find themselves isolated and have difficulty communicating their ideas and gaining acceptance for them. How many people are really open to and in touch with the universal field?

Inner Peace And Creativity

Creative challenges aside, the universal field is our source for creative support. Interestingly, we learn to move into its stillness through meditation. Yes, the same meditation that helps us find inner peace.  Meditation helps us let go of the petty difficulties of everyday life. It helps us become more comfortable with silence than the drama of everyday life.

In doing so, we quiet the mental chatter that distracts us from our creative source and allow ourselves to receive new information. We open ourselves to new possibilities simply by being open to the universal silence. Meditation helps us find inner peace and in doing so also helps us find and embrace our creative potential.

6 Reasons Why We Need Highly Sensitive People

Why do we need highly sensitive people?

HSPs make up approximately 20% of the population. They are people whose nervous systems are highly sensitive to external stimuli. Books like Elaine Aron’s The Highly Sensitive Person and Susan Cain’s book Quiet, are helping us to understand more about the quieter members of our world.

Our culture is predominantly as an extrovert culture. Extroverts are outgoing. An extrovert culture promotes the seeking of rewards, prestige and power. Interestingly, as many as 30% of HSPs are extroverts balancing their interest in the world with a higher need for rest and rejuvenation.

Highly sensitive people are often introspective which provides them with an insightful perspective that is practical and useful.

This is what they bring to us:

  1. highly sensitive people see what others do not. Our extroverted world is very fast however, speed often means mistakes. HSPs notice when the energy around them feels wrong. The insights from HSPs from what they notice can protect us from the mistakes of moving too fast.
  2. highly sensitive people are often deep thinkers. They may notice important overlooked factors in a particular situation. They can observe what is working and what is not, the connects and disconnects that can lead to eventual problems. They are able to notice pitfalls and potential land mines in our plans and strategies saving us needless headaches.
  3. highly sensitive people are holistic thinkers. This means that they offer an antidote to our fragmented society. Fragmentation increases the disconnection between different parts of a group, company, or an entire society. Holistic HSPs see and act as bridges between different parts of social or economic ecology to ease and improve problem solving.
  4. HSPs have a capacity to handle complexity because of their eneregtic sensitivity, deep processing and introspection that makes them ideally suited to helping a overloaded world to manage its complexity better – as long as their need for rest is respected.
  5. HSPs are sensitive to all the various forces at any given point in time. They often work from a longer time frame which enables them to see current, emerging and dying forces at the same time. This ability to notice makes it possible for HSPs to set priorities from a big picture and longer term perspective.
  6. HSP are transpersonally oriented. Their empathy and sensitivity can reduce polarization between different groups or parts of organizations by locating common interest and common ground.

HSP’s are very sensitive to potential consequences of actions and therefore provide an important balancing function in a fast-paced world and fragmented society making them valuable people in our homes, companies and communities.

How The Path Of Creativity Can Help HSPs

I enjoy creativity but as someone who is basically an artiste in the broadest sense, I am often stopped in my tracks by my fear of making mistakes. My very roots seem to be dipped in this feeling, and I have often made myself small by refusing to give myself enough space to explore.

Even if you don’t consider yourself creative (maybe just the word “artiste” made you cringe), the fear of making mistakes probably stops you from living a full, artful life. It stops you from doing things expansively, trying something new, and feeling at home when you don’t do things right the first time around.

Creativity requires living larger. Many of us find our being shrinking in size as the shadow of this fear looms large.

Perfectionism And Shame Kill Creativity

Just like you, I am learning to let go of perfectionism and attempting to live in my creativity.  I am beginning to learn some things that I hope will seep right into me one day, just as deep as the fear had once gone.

What we think of as a mistake is a starting point: When we start off doing something, we are not very good. Or, maybe, we are talented but not as good as we ultimately want to be. Keeping things pristine and empty because we want to make only the best thing or the best decision leads us nowhere.

We all know this intellectually, but we don’t know it in our bones. What we do know almost physically is the intense reaction we have when we make a mistake.

Some old part of us comes calling. It says: “You can’t do anything right.” It says: “You are a mistake” even though you have just attempted something you don’t know very much about.

If you are at this point, you are coming face to face with a belief that you are uprooting. You are beginning to unfreeze. That’s hard work, and you deserve credit for even trying.

As I try to let go of my fear, I find myself face to face with my belief that if I don’t do things “correctly,” I am not good or lovable. There is shame involved in that belief.

What’s stopping us are unconscious fears that speak to our very human need for love and belonging. We can trace their origins back to the past. We can work at bringing them to light and changing them. It’s okay to go slow as you begin this process. It’s okay if you don’t make great progress right away.

You are attempting to plant your being in more fertile soil.

Embrace Play

“Childlike” things that energize us are useful things : All creative acts are playful and exploratory. They can be fun and silly, imaginative and inventive. That threatens the part of us that is attached to the idea of what an “adult” looks like. We forget that a real adult would be someone who gives their free child room to play. We forget that there is a difference between childish and child-like.

I have been struggling with this. As a writer, sometimes, words become less than living for me. It’s when I have spent too much time in my head with abstractions, with thoughts that hiss and curl. And so, lately, I have started doing things that use my other senses.

It has happened organically. Researching intuition, I found myself getting attracted to images and pictures. They felt immediate and truer than words. Then, I chanced upon adult coloring books, and I let myself buy one. It’s a book on coloring Mandalas by Jim Gogarty. Mandalas are circular designs that signify the wholeness of being, and that symbolism as well as the pictures appealed to me.

So, I set out to color, intuitively picking out whatever color appealed to me and filling it in. I let my feelings guide me, and it turned out to be a surprisingly heart-nourishing activity. My mind (like the mind of many HSPs, I suspect) often hooks on to a thought and then chases it the way a dog goes after a bone. This rumination — obsessive thinking about something even though it doesn’t help at all — is a part of my adaptation. It’s the way it has been for me for a long-time.

What was surprising was that as soon as I started coloring, the rush of thoughts stopped. It wasn’t so much that my mind was “empty” but that there was a presence, a fullness that was engaged with what I was doing right then. I was in the flow.

I think that our minds need something to hook onto, something to grasp at. When we are too much with our thoughts, as sometimes sensitive people are prone to being, we are swept up in their current.

Consciously choosing a hook for our attention gives shape to the energies that we sometimes get overloaded with. Instead of becoming self-defeating, this nervous energy can now have a channel to flow into.

It can as easily be creative as it has sometimes been destructive in the past, when we didn’t know what to do with it.

Of course, coloring is just an example. I picked it up because I love colors and pictures. You might love some other flow-state activity. Here, in the Silicon Valley, I know many engineers who love to play with Legos. The same part of them that drives their adult work — the pull to build something, connect parts to build a bigger system — also fuels their adult play.

Play is energy-giving, regenerative. Without it, where would our work be?

For me, coloring has led to drawing mandalas by hand and trying watercolor painting. It’s helping me fill up my sensory well, a place to draw on for my writing. It’s helping me round out the rough edges that develop inside me when I am too much in my mind.

And it shows me, in a real way, that I can give myself what I need. That’s something we need to learn as sensitive people. We sometimes feel caught in one-sided friendships or relationships where we find that we are giving too much of ourselves away and not receiving what we need.

Maybe, one way to receive is by re-directing some of our energy to what we love and find nourishment in the presence that creativity brings.

But we can’t even choose to do this if we are stuck wanting to appear a certain way. When we can let go of our limited notions of what we permit ourselves to do, we find that we have enough inner resources that help renew and invigorate us.

The Mind Blocks Creativity

The intellect can be a great danger to creativity: Many of us have a skewed relationship with our creativity. We value thinking and the intellect over stepping into discovery and experimentation. Something that I read recently by the wonderful writer Ray Bradbury gives us a new way of thinking about experiencing and thinking.

Bradbury tells us that “thinking is to be a corrective in our life — it’s not supposed to be a center of our life.” That’s a radical statement for someone like me, someone who over-thinks a lot.

If thinking is not the center, what is?

Bradbury says: “Living is supposed to be the center of our life, being is supposed to be the center — with correctives around, which hold us like the skin holds our blood and flesh in. But our skin is not a way of life — the way of living is the blood pumping through our veins, the ability to sense and to feel and to know. And the intellect doesn’t help you very much there — you should get on with the business of living.”

We should get on with the business of living. That’s a pointer for people like me who have been seared at some point and now carry their mistrust into everything that happens. Thinking becomes our way to try and control things, even before they happen.

But as Bradbury tells us, thinking is not living. If we have made it our primary mode of moving, then we are deadening our lives.

We are here to experience things, discover things, make things.

Of course, we need to think as well. But the thinking we need is not a defense mechanism, but a membrane that holds all of our experiences together. Then, we don’t use it to rationalize or talk ourselves out of doing things. We use it to assess our direction and course correct, when needed.

As I try to put this into action, I find that I am getting excited about things again. I am stepping out of the limits that I had drawn for myself. I am sighing with relief as I let myself wander and figure out things.

I am trying things on for size.

Nothing needs to be perfect. Nothing needs to turn out right. I am discovering and making things up as I go along.

This way feels more fluid, and I want to expand on it and continue doing it.

I want to feel the freedom of not being weighed down by my own perfect standards or those of others. I want the freedom to do more, be more, discover more. I want to find out what all shapes I can take and how I can stop stifling my own being.

And what about you?

What would stepping away from the need to do things perfectly do in your life? Would it help you become lighter and more joyous? Would it help you attempt something your heart is yearning to do? Would it help you pull in more things that make life worth living?

I hope you find yourself taking your next imperfect step and finding that that too can be part of your wonderful, glorious dance.

What Happened To Play?


What happened to play?

Did you make mud pies when you were a child? Perhaps you spent time in a playground or a sandbox. Did you build castles in the sand? What happened to the joyful spirit of play in your life?

Enter Insecurity

I was raised in a conservative environment so work and conditioning started at a young age. I am not good about being indoctrinated so I noticed when anyone tried. To this day, I notice. However, the forced creation of fear and insecurity has an effect whether you like it or not. It causes sadness, pain and loneliness. And insecurity.

I experienced all of those things. The fear world causes us to pull back and stop fulling engaging with life out of normal self-protection. When that happens a part of us dies a little bit at a time.

Who Gets Hurt?

Children are known to be sensitive to the hurt in others. Many comfort those around them who are in pain. They are not, however, sophisticated in understanding the source of that pain.

How many of us are taught that if we are not obedient and quiet, we are a source of pain to others? How many of us are taught that when we are joyful we are hurting others? How many of us are taught that happiness is something we earn? How many of us are taught that curiosity is bad? How many of us are taught that our creative, fully alive spirit is too much?

How many of us are taught that the more alive we are, the more of a burden we are?

No Room For Play

Trial and error is how we learn; it is how we become strong. So when we slowly close the door on play, we disempower ourselves and others. Playing is the basis of trial and error and give and take. Play helps us to be open to possibility and to the good wherever we find it.

Playing with others helps us learn to trust them even if they are very different from us.

Play: The Path To Empowerment

Play lets us be more process oriented so that we are less focused on outcomes and more focused on our engagement in the trial and error process of creating. Play lets us work through a problem, so we learn how to do it. When we engage in play we learn when to move forward and when not to. We learn to act, reflect on our actions and make adjustments. We learn what works and what doesn’t and we acquire our own skills and knowledge independent of any one else.

Children used to go outside to play all the time. It was important to do so because it gave you direct access to your experience and eventually helped you develop skill and wisdom. You did not require the validation of anyone else. Directness develops power. That appears to have changed and now young people have structured activities that are usually supervised and controlled.

Are they are better off?

Coming Into Our Own

We all need to find and take our place in the world. To do so we need to find our strengths and that occurs through play. Play enables us to take calculated risks and teaches us how to handle our successes and failures. Play makes failure a normal part of life. How many of us have a healthy attitude toward failure? In the interest of safety and security we may have given up our resilience and spirits and I am not sure that we have made the right bargain.

Play helps us become who we were meant to become. It helps is come into our own.

Which is why it is so important.

How An Empathetic Nature Can Block Creativity

We HSPs are famous for our empathetic nature. We are also often creative. Often we are also creatively blocked.

Is there a relationship? Can our empathetic nature get in the way of creativity and block it?

Empathy Is Precious

I personally treasure empathy. Not just for its humanitarian value, but because it is also a great tool for discovery. Empathy is a great way to learn about the world. It enables you to look at anything from another point of view.

It also helps you with all the information that your nervous system takes in. Being empathetic helps you relate to the energy of each piece of information and if it is a multifaceted energy, you can engage all of it. It also lets you into the complexity and nuance of anything. You are able to perceive the dynamics and structure of anything around you.

Empathetic listening is a holistic window to the world and so offers HSPs the potential for a special kind of wisdom that only insight can offer.

The Price Of Being Empathetic

Empathy can cause us to feel like we are drowning in information. It can feel like we are being overwhelmed with so many factors and considerations that it can be hard for us to move forward.

Many HSPs, myself included, like to process every input conscientiously before making decisions and taking action. Hurting someone else is anathema to many HSPs; the pain is too unbearable. As a result, our awareness can become a huge burden. Our sense of responsibility may far outweigh our actual or real role or responsibility. Our skills may not necessarily be up to the information we take in.

All of this, of course, forces us to try to come up with ways to handle the overwhelming information, but nonetheless, it is a huge processing and interactive burden. And it slows us down.

Empathetic Capacity Affects Our Creativity

Empathy affects our creativity because it increases the options and possibilities that we see.


  • helps us see beyond the object to the being.
  • causes us to embrace the other and to naturally care.
  • prevents us from taking actions that would harm because we can become immobilized that way.
  • lets our options and choices become animated and alive through our energetic experience.
  • helps us see paths and directions can so numerous that we sometimes cannot choose.not from laziness or wishy-washiness but from our own conscientiousness.

The empathetic nature is something that non-HSPs often will not likely understand.

We have a right brained empathy, rather than a left-brained approach. It is not object oriented. It is being oriented and that makes all the difference.

Empathic Nature And Creative Choices

Empathy affects the choices we make. Like other HSPs, I certainly try to make empathetic choices.

Our empathetic nature can lead us to better choices or to weaker ones. They cause us to use our creativity to serve the greater good, or have it used to serve someone else’s self-interest.

When we allow our empathy to be abused, we cannot use our creativity well and we hurt ourselves. Codependency can result in the misuse of our creative talents and that is never good. HSPs have to watch for those who are victim narcissists, complainers and passive aggressive individuals who use our empathy to serve their purposes.

Empathy can have a tremendously positive impact on our decisions and choices.  We let it inform us about when it has been used well, because when that happens we make choices that have the feeling of rightness or of a great fit that gives us a good feeling about what we are doing.

It is up to us to make sure our empathy serves our creativity well and is used in a positive way.

It is such a shame when empathy and/or creativity is squandered because both our empathy and creativity are precious.

The world needs more of both.

Let The Creative Process Help You To Achieve Your Goals

Do you get stuck when trying to move forward?

Are you creating but still find that you can flounder or use your momentum?

Do you wish you could find an easier way to make the life that you seek?

Why It Helps To Embrace The Creative Process

Creating can be a difficult and confounding process. We often take one step forward and another back.

It can be hard to understand why that is. So we look into our childhoods, our belief systems and all sorts of corners of our psyche to figure our what is getting in our way.

According to Robert Fritz, author of The Path Of Least Resistance and Creating in addition to many other books, The problem is not in our psyches it is in the structural system that dominates our lives.

What Is The Creative Process?

Many of us have mistaken ideas about the creative process.

The creative process is NOT about coming up with ideas.

The creative process is NOT about concepts.

The creative process is NOT about finding yourself.

The creative process is NOT a form of personal salvation.

The creative process IS a structure that lets you create.

The creative process IS a way to remove irrelevant considerations from your creating – whatever your creating is about.

The creative process IS a way to move from where you are now to your creative goal.

What Is Irrelevant To Creating?

In creating the only thing that matters is what you want to create, and how you are going to get from where you are not to what you are trying to create.

It does not matter what I think or what you family and friends think.

It does not matter what your religion or political affiliation is.

It does not matter what the weather is, who likes you or does not.

It does not mater is you have a dog, cat or a bird.

It does not matter if you had a bad childhood.

It does not matter if you like yourself.

How To Make The Creative Process Work For You

According to Robert Fritz, the process of creating is very simple:

  • identify where you want to go, what you want to achieve
  • identify where you are
  • determine how to get there
  • do it.

Once you know what you want and where you are now, you can develop the step you need to take. There is no one to consult, and no approval to get.

It is that simple.

We overcomplicate it with a lot of extraneous considerations which are really irrelevant.

So, for example, you want to become super healthy.

First, you need to assess where you are and then create a series of steps to achieve your objective. It may include losing weight, drinking more and healthier water, dealing with stress issues, figuring our a lifestyle plan that will support your health, etc.

The big benefit of this approach is that taking one step supports the rest of the steps. So going through the process, each step moves forward and feeds into the next. Gone is the oscillating pattern of one step forward and one step back.

By having a straightforward creative process, you now have a structure that supports your moving forward.

That’s all you need to creative whatever you want.

Sound too simple?

Try it. See if it works for you.

I am using it, and although it takes getting used to, it does work.

The Value Of Tension


I think tension can be good.

It is not my favorite thing in life, and as a highly sensitive person it can be challenging, but it  has also made my life better in some ways.

Tension Seeks Resolution

Tension seeks resolution is truth that I have learned from Robert Fritz through his class, Structures, which teaches how to use the creative process to create what you want in life.

One thing I know about as a highly sensitive person is tension. Like many other HSPs who have nuanced perceptions, I often see what others do not, which naturally creates tension.

It leads to a lot of questions:

  • What do I do with what I see?
  • What do I say?
  • What is my responsibility?
  • When do allow events to unfold without interfering?
  • When should I intervene?

These are all hard questions for a highly sensitive person to answer.

Even harder when it feels constant.

Is Tension Dangerous?

I have experienced tension my whole life so I almost feel like an expert on it.

When I was young others in my life promoted the idea that tension was bad, that it was a sign that something was wrong. So if someone else was unhappy I was the cause.

It meant that I was creating pain and unhappiness for others, which as an HSP I did not want to do. I found this thinking to be a little crazy since I could only do my best and you can’t read anyone else’s mind. Nonetheless, I lived in an environment where there was an expectation of constant pleasure.

The weird thing was that in spite of all these desires and demands everyone was miserable and it did not take much to upset someone. As a creative HSP that was a huge problem since I do not know how to be anything other than creative or myself.

Tension Is Very Useful

In spite of the reactions of others, I have always listened to tension to try and understand it. Most of the time I have found  the tension around me puzzling. I would listen to it, take it on, and trying to understand.

I found it difficult because implicit was an expectation that something should be different, or the tension not there. But how can the moment you are living be anything other than what it is? I scratched my head a lot.  I felt burdened by expectations that seemed misguided since each moment is different with different requirements and needs.

Expecting no tension means that you are actually creating problems for yourself because you are not facing life from reality, but from your imagination. It is one thing to want good things in life, but you have to be in touch with what is going on around you. If you want to make a chocolate cake you do not go to the garage for a ladder. There has to be some relationship between what you are doing, how you are doing it and where you want to go,

There is no magician or wizard to protect you for unrealistic expectations and unwanted outcomes. Is it really someone else’s job?

Tension helps us learn where our desires and reality diverge so that we can figure how to manifest our desires. Expectations are not meant to provide us with a cop-out when we want to avoid the realities of life.

Using Creative Stress Constructively

What I like about creative stress is that it can feed my creativity. I call it creative stress.

It can help me see where I am at, what I know or do not know in relation to what I want, and help me develop the tools and skills to make something happen.

Creative stress is a way of being with what I want that ensures that I do not put what I want on others.

I think that is important.

Using creative stress constructively is doing something HSPs are good at because we can listen to the gaps:

  • between what we want and what we have
  • between what is said and unsaid
  • between what we know and need to know
  • between what we are able to do and what skills we need

Tension is an important tool that HSPs can use to manage their lives better.

I highly recommend that highly sensitive people try to embrace it to empower themselves.

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Duality And The Mastery Of The Exquisite


Embrace Your Inner Troublemaker!

Being a troublemaker is not something we necessarily associate with highly sensitive people, those gentle souls who are loath to hurt others.

The label, troublemaker, is not something that we usually generate for ourselves either. It is usually conferred by others when they encounter something uncomfortable in themselves courtesy of another person.

Have you ever been called a troublemaker or treated like one?

Highly Sensitive And A Troublemaker?

Highly sensitive people are usually very conscientious, cautious, perceptive and empathetic.

Highly sensitive people often see what others cannot because they operate from an atypical perceptual reality. When people think differently, many assume that is is an ideological difference that is being expressed. In the case of HSPs, however, what is being expressed is a biological difference.

Highly sensitive people have nervous systems that absorb all the stimulus and energy around them. Their nervous systems are like sponges, which makes them uncomfortable and other people as well. Highly sensitive people notice when someone is uncomfortable, sad or angry no matter how much someone attempts to hide their feelings. They notice when something is not working very well, differences in perception and reality, mistakes of judgment and an other energetic event.

Highly sensitive people necessarily have values that support their sensitive natures including kindness and fairness. They are able to see the pitfalls in a competitive social structure and are unlikely to support the destructive aspects of it.

People who do not understand the highly sensitive nature may feel uncomfortable around HSPs and even think of them as troublemakers.

Characteristics Of Troublemakers

Why would anyone be labeled a troublemaker? Aren’t we all in this together?

The label suggests that there is something to protect against. It suggests that the group is dependent on the existence of certain behaviors, beliefs and ideas to sustain it. It also suggests that we each of us have the job of protecting the group, that protecting the group is one price of membership.

Troublemaker is a social label. Who gets the label?

Troublemaker is a social label. Who gets the label?

  • people who belong to another social group
  • people who look different
  • people with different customs and social habits

Those are just superficial reasons for labeling someone a troublemaker or potential problem.

There are deeper ones:

  • people who think differently
  • people with different values
  • someone kind and empathetic in a culture that is not
  • someone who notices disconnects
  • someone who notices that which is overlooked, devalued and deferred
  • someone who notices imbalances and inequities
  • someone who notices a need for change

When Awareness Is A Liability

When we are young we take in everything around us. We may not understand it, but we take it in nonetheless. In particular we take in what is supported and what is not. We usually then adopt the supported behaviors and reject unsupported ones. This is how we survive. In fact we have to. When people wonder why prejudice survives this is why: each generation learns the accepted attitudes of their social group and rejects the unaccepted ones including the prejudices towards different kinds of people.

For highly sensitive people, the situation is not so easy. Our perceptual system is different so we cannot help but think and feel differently. We will also notice that our perceptions are often not supported and that will leave us with a quandary about what to do and think. It may increase self-doubt, cause depression and leave us feeling lonely. We will feel our conflict with our social group and not know what to do:

  • Do we speak our truth?
  • Do we say nothing when we know something is wrong?
  • How can we live in our authenticity when we are so at odds with others around us?

When we go along with the group we may compromise our integrity. When we live our truth we may be labeled a troublemaker.

It requires a lot of learning to know when to speak and when not to, how to support healthy change without being alienating, and how to b respectful and also disagree.

These are important challenges for highly sensitive people whose wisdom the world needs and needs to be able to accept. We may be labeled troublemakers sometimes but we are far from it.